October 2024
I facilitate a lot of conversations about what contributes to effective interpersonal communication. We always discuss the impact your body language has on your conversations, and eye contact is one of our most powerful tools.
Eye contact helps to establish trust, convey confidence, and demonstrate attentiveness. It allows us to connect with others on a deeper level, signaling interest and engagement. However, mastering eye contact can be tricky – too much can feel intimidating, while too little can seem disinterested.
Here are my top three tips to use eye contact effectively during conversations:
- Avoid Staring: Blink and Avert Your Gaze Naturally
Maintaining steady eye contact is important, but staring can make the other person uncomfortable. To strike a balance, try averting your gaze every 3 to 5 seconds or let your eyes blink naturally. This helps you stay engaged without coming across as intense or awkward. You can briefly look away, down, or at your surroundings to give the conversation a more natural rhythm, helping both parties feel at ease. - Consider Cultural Norms
Cultural differences in communication are significant, especially when it comes to eye contact. In some cultures, direct eye contact is a sign of confidence, while in others, it may be considered disrespectful. For instance, among some First Nations peoples, it is more respectful to avoid direct eye contact. Being mindful of these variations allows you to show respect for the other person’s cultural background and adjust your communication style accordingly. - Struggling with Eye Contact? Use the “T Spot”
For those who find direct eye contact challenging, focusing on the “T spot” – the area along the forehead and down the bridge of the nose – can be a helpful technique. This strategy creates the illusion of direct eye contact, especially when you’re standing or sitting at a slight distance. Practicing this method can gradually build your comfort with maintaining eye contact, without the intensity of looking directly into someone’s eyes.
Using eye contact effectively enhances communication by building connection, trust, and attentiveness. With these tips, you can practice making meaningful eye contact which respects both individual comfort and cultural norms.
Interested in learning more communication tips and techniques to help you engage in meaningful conversations? Contact us at info@trybarefoot.com to schedule a workshop for your team.
Gerard Murphy
Founder and CEO,
Barefoot Facilitation Inc.