June 2025
Want to speak up with confidence – without shutting others down?
Here’s a powerful 3-step communication technique I’ve created to help you do just that.
At Barefoot Facilitation Inc., we call it the Acknowledge/Assert Technique, and it’s designed to help you communicate with clarity, presence, and respect – even in high-stakes moments.
Let’s break it down:
🔹 Step 1: The Acknowledgement
This is where you recognize the other person’s view or emotion. You don’t need to agree, just see them. The goal here is to hold space for their experience.
Use phrases like:
💬 “I hear how much work has gone into this…”
💬 “I see this is frustrating for you…”
💬 “I appreciate how committed you are to this outcome…”
💬 “I absolutely appreciate that you are angry about…”
⚠️ Avoid saying “I understand” unless you’ve had the same lived experience. It can unintentionally minimize or dismiss the other person’s reality.
🔹 Step 2: The Bridge
This is the subtle transition between perspectives. Replace the word “but” – which often erases everything said before it – with:
✔️ “And”
✔️ “However” (used sparingly and strategically)
✔️ Silence — yes, sometimes the most confident communicators say nothing at all “on the bridge’. They let the pause do the work.
🔹 Step 3: The Assertion
Now, express your own needs or perspective clearly and respectfully.
💬 “I need us to stay within the time we agreed to.”
💬 “I’d like to explore another option.”
💬 “I need you to lower your voice, please.”
💬 “I want you to know that…”
Final Thought
Effective communication doesn’t require choosing between being kind or being clear. With the Acknowledge/Assert Technique, you can do both.
Want to build this technique into your team’s everyday communication? Let’s talk. Barefoot Facilitation offers customized workshops that help leaders and teams speak with confidence, clarity, and care.
Gerard Murphy
Founder and CEO
Barefoot Facilitation Inc.